Thu, 11 Aug 2005

Cretins in cars

I’ve got used to meeting cretins on the road, especially when I’m driving my BMW which seems to tickle the idiot gene in most youthful hoons who see it. It happens less when I’m in the family saloon, but I got two samples on a short drive to collect the mail this morning. Maybe there is some loony dust in the air today.

I’m doing a left turn, under the control of a green arrow, around a blind corner into a major road. Half way around, I have to brake hard to avoid t-boning an idiot cop doing an illegal u-turn in front of me. He was so incompetent that, despite having a five-lane road to operate in, he turned it into a three-point turn and was in the middle of shifting into reverse when I arrived. So, naturally, his super-intelligent cop passenger gives me some pretty strong abusive body language as he sees me approaching his door.

For my part, I was aware of the youthful hoon close behind behind me and wanted to give him as much braking room as possible—and I saw no compelling reason to give the cops any more room than strictly necessary. Even so, hoon-boy tested his car’s ABS. And he blasted his horn at me for stopping in such a stupid place, before he saw the reason. This did not do anything to make the cops more cheerful and I thought we were going to have a discussion. But the cop driver, perhaps suitably embarrassed at this point, stomped on the gas and blasted off down the road.

So I go and collect my mail and head home. On the way, I get to follow a taxi whose driver is obviously lost. He goes slower and slower, but there’s no room to overtake so I follow him. Eventually, he stops exactly in the middle of an intersection. After some thought, he decides to reverse—without looking behind him. I see the reverse lights come on and lean on the horn just as he takes off. He backed into me, but did very little damage because he heard my warning.

Having been a complete dickhead, he then gets out of his cab and comes back to my car to abuse me for hitting him. I gave him a short lesson in road courtesy, backed away from his car and continued on my way home. Fortunately, I don’t think I need to go out again today.

Posted at: 13:47

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